1Funny synopsis of Warren G’s “Regulate”

I saw this on Wiki­pe­dia a while ago, it might even have been a couple of years ago, thanks to a friend’s link on face­book. It has since dis­ap­peared from wiki­pe­dia, which is a shame, as it is a work of geni­us. I’ve repro­duced it here because of how much it made me chuckle. I’m afraid I have no idea who the ori­gin­al author was, but if you think you know, or are the author, please get in touch for credit.

Info on the track Reg­u­late and the artists War­ren G and Nate Dogg is avail­able on wikipedia.

Reg­u­late — Synopsis

On a cool, clear night (typ­ic­al to South­ern Cali­for­nia) War­ren G travels through his neigh­bour­hood, search­ing for women with whom he might ini­ti­ate sexu­al inter­course. He has chosen to engage in this pur­suit alone.

Nate Dogg, hav­ing just arrived in Long Beach, seeks War­ren. On his way to find War­ren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regard­less, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

War­ren makes a left turn at 21^st Street and Lewis Ave, where he sees a group of young men enjoy­ing a game of dice togeth­er. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chag­rin, he dis­cov­ers they intend to relieve him of his mater­i­al pos­ses­sions. Once the hope­ful rob­bers reveal their fire­arms, War­ren real­izes he is in a less than favour­able predicament.

Mean­while, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of pri­or­it­ies. His primary con­cern is loc­at­ing War­ren. After curtly cast­ing away the strum­pets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their auto­mobile), he serendip­it­ously stumbles upon his friend, War­ren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

War­ren, unaware that Nate is sur­repti­tiously observing the scene unfold, is in dis­be­lief that he’s being robbed. The per­pet­rat­ors have taken jew­ellery and a name brand design­er watch from War­ren, who is so incred­u­lous that he asks what else the rob­bers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhet­or­ic­al question.

Observing these unfor­tu­nate pro­ceed­ings, Nate real­izes that he may have to use his fire­arm to deliv­er his friend from harm.

The ten­sion cres­cendos as the rob­bers point their guns to Warren’s head. War­ren senses the grav­ity of his situ­ation. He can­not believe the events unfold­ing could hap­pen in his own neigh­bour­hood. As he ima­gines him­self in a fant­ast­ic­al escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has sev­en­teen cart­ridges to expend (six­teen resid­ing in the pistol’s magazine, with a sol­it­ary round placed in the cham­ber and ready to be fired) on the group of rob­bers, and he uses many of them. After­wards, he gen­er­ously shares the cred­it for neut­ral­ising the situ­ation with War­ren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the dif­fi­cult work. Put­ting con­grat­u­la­tions aside, Nate quickly reminds him­self that he has com­mit­ted mul­tiple hom­icides to save War­ren before let­ting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to for­nic­ate with them.

War­ren recalls that it was the prom­ise of cop­u­la­tion that coaxed him away from his pre­vi­ous activ­it­ies, and is thank­ful that Nate knows a way to sat­is­fy these urges.

Nate quickly finds the women who earli­er crashed their car on Nate’s account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her phys­ic­al appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing abil­ity, asks that he and War­ren allow her and her friends to share trans­port­a­tion. Soon, both friends are driv­ing with auto­mo­biles full of women to the East Side Motel, pre­sum­ably to con­sum­mate their flir­ta­tion in an orgy.

The third verse is more expos­it­ory, with War­ren and Nate explain­ing their G Funk music­al style. Nate dis­plays his bravado by claim­ing that indi­vidu­als with equi­val­ent know­ledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyr­ic­al mas­tery. He also notes that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find them­selves in a state of intox­ic­a­tion daily (from Nate’s oth­er works, it can be inferred that the sub­stance ref­er­enced is marijuana). Nate con­cludes his delin­eation of the night by issu­ing a vague threat to “busters,” sug­gest­ing that he and War­ren will fur­ther “reg­u­late” any poten­tial incid­ents in the future (pre­sum­ably by enga­ging their enemies with small arms fire).

Ori­gin­al Lyrics

[Intro — Sampled from Young Guns]
Regulators
we reg­u­late any steal­ing of his property
we’re damn good too
But you can­’t be any geek off the street,
gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean, earn your keep!

[War­ren G]
REGULATORS!!! MOUNT UP!

[War­ren G]
It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
War­ren G was on the streets, try­ing to consume
some skirts for the eve, so I can get some funk
jus’ rol­lin in my ride, chil­lin all alone

[Nate Dogg]
Just hit the East­side of the LBC
on a mis­sion try­ing to find Mr. War­ren G.
Seen a car full of girls ain’t no need to tweak
all you skirts know what’s up with 213

[War­ren G]
So I hooks a left on 2 1 and Lewis
some brothas shoot­in dice so I said “Let’s do this”
I jumped out the ride, and said “What’s up?"
some brothas pulled some gats so I said “I’m stuck.”

[Nate Dogg]
Since these girls peep­in me I’m a glide and swerve
these hook­ers look­in so hard they straight hit the curb
Won’tcha think of bet­ter things than some horny tricks
I see my homey and some suck­ers all in his mix

[War­ren G]
I’m get­tin jacked, I’m breakin myself
I can­’t believe they tak­ing War­ren’s wealth
they took my rings, they took my Rolex
I looked at the brotha said “Damn, what’s next?"

[Nate Dogg]
They got my homey hemmed up and they all around
ain’t none of them see­ing if they going straight pound for pound
They wanna come up real quick before they start to clown
I best pull out my strap and lay them busters down

[War­ren G]
They got guns to my head
I think I’m going down
I can­’t believe this hap­pen­in in my own town
If I had wings I would fly
let me contemplate
I glanced in the cut and I see my homey Nate

[Nate Dogg]
Six­teen in the clip and one in the hole
Nate Dogg is about to make some bod­ies turn cold
now they drop­pin and yellin
it’s a tad bit late
Nate Dogg and War­ren G had to regulate

[Nate Dogg]
I laid all them busters down
I let my gat explode
now I’m switch­ing my mind back into freak mode
if you want skirts sit back and observe
I just left a gang of those over there on the curb

[War­ren G]
Now Nate got the freaks
and that’s a known fact
before I got jacked I was on the same track
back up back up cause it’s on
N A T E and me
the War­ren to the G

[Nate Dogg]
Just like I thought
they were in the same spot
in need of some des­per­ate help
the Nate Dogg and the G‑child
were in need of some­thing else
one of them dames was sexy as hell
I said “ooo I like your size.”
she said “my car’s broke down and you seem real nice,
would ya let me ride?"
I got a car full of girls and it’s going real swell
the next stop is the East­side Motel

[War­ren G]
I’m tweaking
into a whole new era
G‑Funk
step to this
I dare ya
Funk
on a whole new level

[Nate Dogg]
the rhythm is the bass and the bass is the treble

[War­ren G]
Chords
Strings
We brings
Melody
G‑Funk
where rhythm is life
and life is rhythm

[Nate Dogg]
If you know like I know
you don’t wanna step to this
It’s the G‑Funk era
funked out with a gang­sta twist
if you smoke like I smoke
then you high like everyday
and if your ass is a buster
213 will regulate